Breast Cancer Awareness

It's breast cancer awareness month. Now it's toward the end of the month and you aren't hearing quite as much about it as you do in the weeks leading up to October 1 and that first week, but it's still breast cancer awareness month.

I don't need a month to be aware of this disease. It reminds me in a million different ways at random times all year long. Cold, spring days, the first time I got drunk, a big gospel church, lasgna dinners and track coaches all make me aware.

I'm aware when I think of my 7 year old. One of my best friends from high school was visiting me in Las Vegas. After a great lunch we confided in each other. I was heading to see a fertility doctor after two miscarriages and when she got home, she was visiting a different sort of doctor to check out a lump in her breast. I won that hand. I got a baby. She got a coffin.

Wigs make me laugh and make me aware. My neighbor in Las Vegas got breast cancer and lost her hair. Vegas has great wig shops and not only are there completely natural wigs, there are wigs in every color in the rainbow. We went shopping, along with my 4 year old and her tween. Long blue wigs, short hot pink wigs, silver metallic wigs. We tried them all. Laughter was the order of the day and we got kicked out of the store. The four of us could barely eat our lunch we were still laughing so hard.

Being online makes me aware. I have some amazing friends online and a certain group of women helped me through my miscarriages. We bonded and will be lifelong friends. We also buried one of us because of breast cancer. I traveled to Georgia to say good bye. There is a hole in my online life.

Picking out a card makes me aware. I sent a goofy card to a gym mom every week or so during her treatment and afterward until it was certain she would be a survivor. She still thanks me.

There are huge, empty spaces in my life and they won't be filled because of breast cancer. Three kids lost their moms - one will never really remember her mother, one might and one knows very well what she lost. There are four kids who still have their moms and are back to underappreciating them. It's a good thing.

I'm glad there's a month for breast cancer awareness for those who don't know anything about the disease. Personally, I wish I needed the month. Unfortunately, I don't.